


Lucky Cat

by yodepalma



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Just Add Kittens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 23:47:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13535127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodepalma/pseuds/yodepalma
Summary: Cor accidentally adopts a cat. Apregnantcat.





	Lucky Cat

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to go up for day two of Cor week but, uh, I had something of an emergency at home and couldn't actually get to it. Soooo here we are a day late? :D  
> I currently have it set as complete but there may at some point be more chapters to it. Who knows?

It starts, as these things usually do, with _one_ cat: a stray wandering around outside Cor’s apartment building. At first he just sets out a little food for her, wanting her to stay healthy. Eventually she decides she likes him and lets him pet her, and he finds himself stopping to do so every morning and night. She rubs up against his legs and purrs, following him to the door of the complex and then running off. Then one cool night he leaves his window open and she jumps inside, but never jumps back out. He doesn't have the heart to throw her back outside.

Of course, he hadn't known _then_ that she was pregnant. Not until two weeks later, when Monica stops by to deliver some paperwork and gets distracted by Kotetsu, who _instantly_ decides she likes her. Lets Monica pet her belly and everything.

When Monica finally finishes petting her, she comes into the kitchen where Cor is drinking his coffee. She drops the papers on the table by his hand and says, "Cor, are you aware that cat is pregnant?"

Cor pauses with his mug halfway to his lips. He _slowly_ lowers it back to the table. "I wasn't even aware she had the right parts for that."

Monica gives him a _look_. "How long have you had her?"

Cor shrugs. "Clearly not long enough."

"Give me your phone." Monica sighs. "I'll give you the number to my vet. _Take her_."

That's one order Cor doesn't need to be given twice. He's not equipped for kittens. He'd barely been equipped for a full-grown self-sufficient cat.

 

The vet is nice, though she clearly thinks it's hilarious that Cor hadn't even known the cat was female. Even _after_ Cor explains that becoming a pet owner just sort of...happened.

She does dig up some pamphlets about pregnant cats so he knows what to expect, though, so he forgives her. And after leafing through the pamphlet, he also goes out and picks up some actual books about cats. He's not ready for this. He'll _never_ be ready for this.

This doesn't change a month later, when Kotetsu starts getting clingy and he recognizes the signs of a cat about to give birth. She's made a little nest in his closet, too, right on top of a jacket she pulled off the hanger. He's going to have fun explaining what happened to it when he needs to ask for a new one to be made.

And then the event finally happens. At some godawful time at night, with Cor alone in his apartment. Why couldn't she have waited until _morning_ to drag him into the closet with her?

The fact that he went willingly because he's _worried_ is a secret that will die with him.

He calls Monica once he gets as comfortable as he can be. She answers the phone with an unusually snappy, " _What_?"

Cor stares down at Kotetsu. "What do I _do_?"

"What?" She sounds more confused than angry this time.

"It's _happening_."

He can feel the moment Monica realizes what he's talking about. "Cor, it's two in the morning. I'm sure you can handle it."

"But—"

" _Two in the morning, Cor_." Monica takes a deep breath. "She should be able to take care of everything herself. I'll come by in the morning."

She hangs up without waiting for a response. Cor lowers his phone and glares at it. Betrayed. By his own soldier. He'll get her back for this.

The birth takes what feels like forever. There's four kittens when it's all over, and after seeing Kotetsu _eat the placentas_ , he's vowed to never have to go through this again. Give him something to kill any day. This was just harrowing.

He considers getting up and taking a shower, but he's exhausted after hours of watching to make sure nothing goes wrong. He lets his head fall back against the wall behind him and carefully stretches out his legs. The kittens are huddled in close to their mother, so he shouldn't have to worry about crushing them. He hopes.

The next thing he's aware of is someone walking into his bedroom. He checks on Kotetsu automatically, to find her and the kittens curled up next to his leg and apparently fast asleep. Only then does he look up to see Monica hovering over him with a smile and her phone out.

"Don't—" Cor's cut off by the sound of the camera shutter noise. He hits his head against the wall and sighs.

"But you looked so cute." Monica kneels down and looks at the kittens without picking them up. "And Helen will _pay_ me for that picture."

"I'll pay you to delete it," Cor says, but he knows it's hopeless even before Monica smirks at him.

"Not enough." Monica gets back to her feet and holds a hand out to him. "The kittens look fine. _You_ need to get ready for work."

Cor grasps her hand and lets her haul him to his feet, but he can't help looking back down toward Kotetsu. "But they were just _born_."

Monica pats his arm. "They'll be fine. Go take a shower."

Cor reluctantly does as she says, tossing his clothes into a corner of the bathroom. He'll worry about them later. In the shower, he leans his forehead against the wall and thinks mournfully about how _comfortable_ his bed is. He'd been looking forward to a full night's sleep, and Kotetsu had _ruined_ it.

At least it had ended in four healthy kittens. He hadn't really gotten a good look at them yet, and he doesn't think he's going to until after work. He sighs and pushes off the wall, reaching for the shampoo.

By the time he gets out of the shower, Monica has made him coffee _and_ breakfast, a sure sign that he looks as tired as he feels. He sits down with a grunt of thanks and stares blankly at the plate for a second. He'll be _late_ if he doesn't hurry up.

He can feel Monica's amused eyes on him as he eats and gulps down two cups of steaming hot coffee, but he chooses not to acknowledge her. At least this way he can _pretend_ he still has any dignity left.

Monica walks to the Citadel with him, smiling at her phone the whole time. She leaves him outside his office door, rushing off like she has something important to attend to. Cor narrows his eyes at her back. He _knows_ she doesn't have anything waiting for her.

Her hurry is explained when he opens his door to find Helen lounging in his chair. Of course. Why _would_ she give him time to prepare for her?

"Good morning." Cor closes the door behind him and crosses his arms. "Get out of my chair."

Helen grins and doesn't move. "Tell me how your _adorable_ kittens are first."

Cor sighs. "They're alive and healthy. Not sure what else you expect me to say about things that are only a few hours old."

"Oh, come on." Helen leans forward and props her chin up with a hand. "How many are there? What do they look like? What awful names do you plan on giving them?"

"Four; squirming, dark blobs; and I haven't decided yet."

"All right, I can take a hint." Helen holds up a thin file folder for a second and drops it back on his desk before she gets up. "Just came to deliver this anyway."

"Thank you."

Helen walks over and pats him on the chest before she leaves. "Welcome to the crazy cat lady club."

Cor walks over to his desk and flops inelegantly into his seat. Would anybody notice if he took a nap before he has to go train the new recruits? With the way his luck is going, someone would walk in on him drooling on his paperwork and snap a picture. Better not risk it.

He rubs his eyes and flips open the folder. Scowls at the contents and rubs his eyes again, in case he's just seeing things. But the image of a kitten doesn't disappear, and as he flips through the pages he realizes that's all it is. How the hell did Helen manage to get this together so quickly?

...At least they're cute. And it _is_ better than doing actual work.

 

He doesn't actually get anything done before he has to get up again, but he can't bring himself to care. He's tired enough that he stops in one of the guard rooms to grab a cup of their terrible coffee. He chugs it right there at the counter, then looks into the empty cup with despair.

"That was the worst coffee I've ever had," he mutters to nobody in particular. "It tastes like apathy given life. How do you _drink_ this?"

"Who cares what it _tastes_ like?" Someone comes up and pours themselves a cup. "It _works_."

Cor nods agreeably. "Okay. But why does it smell like burnt hair?"

"That would be the sheer essence of apathy. You need another cup, Marshal?"

"I don't hate myself that much."

He can still taste the coffee when he gets to the training room. It would make him regret the decision to drink it if he didn't also finally feel awake enough to actually _do_ something.

The new recruits salute him when he enters the room and he salutes half-heartedly back. He's given the welcoming speech so many times he's pretty sure he could recite it in his sleep, which is good because he has no recollection of a word he says. He'll just have to hope he didn't screw up, and deny it if he did.

"I know all of you can fight," Cor says, falling into his resting stance. "But today is when you find out how well."

He reaches for the king's magic and pulls his katana out of the Armiger in a flash of light. The ensuing tinkle of tiny bells and muffled laughter of a few of the men isn't the normal response he gets to that. He looks down to see— _something_ hanging off the hilt of his sword. A closer inspection shows it to be several little cat phone charms. He taps at a little calico that has one paw raised beside its head, and it jingles as it swings. 

"Regis," he sighs as the men burst out laughing again. He falls back into stance and glares up at them. "Don't let yourselves be distracted by ridiculous diversions. An enemy won't hesitate to attack while you're laughing."

It still takes the recruits a few bruises before they manage to take him seriously again. Cor is going to _kill_ Regis. Or Monica. Or both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't want to live in a universe where Regis isn't secretly a troll.


End file.
